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Monday, July 11, 2005
Joke of the day for this Monday Blue.. HEE..
Ah Seng wants to make love with Ah Lian but he is afraid that Ah Lian will >>get pregnant, so he approaches his friend Ah Beng for advice. Ah Beng said >>"Aiya, very easy one lah. Nah, take this packet of condoms and follow the >>instructions, nothing will happen one." So Ah Seng takes the condom and at >>night makes love with Ah Lian.>>Two months later, Ah Seng comes to look for Ah Beng and tells him that Ah >>Lian is pregnant.>>"Cannot be what, did you follow the instructions or not?" asks Ah Beng.>>"Na -bei! Got lah. The box says "Stretch the condom over organ before >>intercourse, I got no organ, so I stretch it over my piano loh.">>>>=======================================================
Ah Beng to a long-distance telephone operator:>>"Could you please tell me the time difference between Taipei and Las >>Vegas?">>Operator: "Just a minute.........">>Ah Beng: "Thank You," and puts down the Phone=======================================================>>At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender," >>JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." >>The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks," AND YOU, SIR?" Ah Beng >>replies:" Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED.">>>>=======================================================>>After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on quite for some time, >>Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.>>"It took me ONLY FIVE MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah Beng brags.>>"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG," the friend exclaims.>>"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies," NO LAH, SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN >>FOR 4-7YRS, LEH!">>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition. During the Q&A >>segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'.">>The crowd shouts, "Gin! Gin!">>Others exclaim, "No it's Grape Juice!">>Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!">>Host: "Quiet please.">>Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, you >>think I need your help? I got more original answer: Guni!"(cow milk in >>Hokkien).>>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he >>encountered some problems. He decided to use the 'Help' command. After >>some tries, he became irritated and called the computer retailer for >>support.>>Ah Beng:" I pressed the 'F1' key for help?but it's been over half an hour >>and still nobody has came to help me???">>Computer Retailer:...............>>>>=======================================================>>In an English class:>>Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?">>Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother.">>Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?">>Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents mean cowboy's father and mother. Also can >>say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo. So >>together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB).">>Teacher fainted...............>>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng with his two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him >>what happened to his ears and he answered," I was ironing a shirt and the >>phone ring loh but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked >>up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So kena loh!">>"Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.>>"But?what happen to the other ear?" "Aiyah! That stoooopid dumbo called >>back!">>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng and Ah Seng rent a boat and fish in a lake everyday. One day, they >>caught 30 fishes. Ah Beng said to Ah Seng," Mark this spot so that we can >>come back here again tomorrow.">>The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, Ah Beng asked Ah >>Seng," Did you mark that spot?" Ah Seng replied," Yeah, I put a big X on >>the bottom of the boat, "Ah Beng said," You stupid fool! What if we don't >>get that same boat today !?!?">>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng and Ah Seng exited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to >>remove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Ah Beng >>asked,"Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it?">>"No, that won't work," answered Ah Seng." People might think we're trying >>to break in.">>Then Ah Beng suggested," What if we use a pocket knife to cut the rubber, >>then stuck a finger in and pull up the lock?">>"No," said Ah Seng. "People will think we're too dumb to use a coat >>hanger.">>The "kan cheong" Ah Beng shouted," We better think of something fast. It's >>starting to rain and the sunroof is open!!!">>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng serving his NS overseas and far from home, was annoyed and upset >>when his girl Ah Lian wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for >>her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the >>unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all >>together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:>>"Regret cannot remember which one is you...............please keep your >>photo and return the others.">>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng and Ah Seng went to a hawker centre. Ah Seng noticed the hygiene >>grades issued by the Ministry of Health pasted at each stall and asked Ah >>Beng, "Eh,the 'A', 'B', 'C' and 'D' stand for what ah?" Ah Beng snorted >>and said, "Aiyah, this sort of thing you also dunno! 'D' stand for >>'delicious', 'C' stand for 'can eat', 'B' stand for 'buay sai' (cannot) >>and 'A' stand for 'Alamak'!">>>>=======================================================>>Ah Beng ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if he should cut it in six >>or twelve pieces.>>"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.">>>>=======================================================>>"Oh, look at the dead bird.">>Ah Beng looked skyward and said, "Where, where got?">>
Carrot_bar was here @ 11:51 AM
